It's not easy being Green

Yes, it's not easy, this path that I am hikeing along at times the path is uneven and rocky, and other times well maintained and crowded.

As I have stated, I am Male to Female Transgender.  I was also a late onset Transgender person, what this means is i realized much later in my life then many.  While growing up I always had this little corner in the back of my mind that sat there going, "something isn't quite right with me, i'm not sure what it is, but something..."

Some might say i was just looking for an excuse, but it was never this way. some might say i didnt have proper role models of male and female when i was growing up, Well. bunk to that, both my mother and my father taught me how to cook and bake, both of my parents taught me how to sew, i learnd car care from my father, and leatherwork, i leard cross stitch from my mother. My Grandmother took me to baseball games as she had season tickets. I was quite well rounded as a person, but that small corner persisted.

I joined the boy scouts, though my parents were resistant at first, they didnt think the program was right for me, but i persisted and soon we were all envolved. Scouting was great, but that little corner of my mind was still sitting there, still saying "Something isn't right"

I got envolved with many things, online BBS's, and MUCKS, I discoverd the Furry fandom, and found something wonderfull, things started to click.

I started questioning my sexuality, and met my first boyfriend, he was so wonderfull and sweet.
 I moed out from my moms house, and then back in when my boyfriend was murderd (Yes there are scars from that loss still effect me to this day, as the aniversry is fast approaching)

finally things got to a point when i was looking arround and realizeing that I was playing mostly female characters online in games and chat places, and the realization that many of my friends online were transgender themselfs.

and then something really *CLICKED* in my head, and i took a long hard look at myself and at my life, i sought the advice of friends online and then sought a counsler who handled gender issues, and she in turn, helped me to find the me that was there all the time, but hidden away.

and slowly, I begain to emerge from the shell I had hidden in for so long.

I started replaceing my wardrobe with more & more womens clothes, and also started on Estrogen, and Suddenly the persistant near suicidle depression that had troubled me for so long was fadeing, I was becomeing ME.

And in becomeing me, i found other things out about myself and have embraced them

Well i think this is enough rambleing for today, so at this point i do belive i will leve you with this simple picture snaped the other day.

ARF